Showtime's Tara versus HBO's In Treatment and More
This post explores, in a very small way, how film and media help us make sense of our experiences.
Much has been made of the Showtime series "US of Tara" which is about a person with Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID). I only saw the first episode and didn't like it much at all. ISST&D praises Tara and provides running commentaries. I am actually quite offended by the show and feel like it's exploitation. I think, in the end, it only serves to further stigmatize dissociation (and DID), making very real problems less mainstream and more fringe than they already are. Given that, I think ISST&D's support is not helpful and misplaced. From the first episode, I did not feel as though the way the family accepted Tara's DID was real. The portrayal was too dramatic for me. Sure there are times when the parts are separate and they have conversations with family members and there is drama; but usually it's not like that at all. Most multiples I know with families hide their DID to the extreme.
If you want to watch something that's quite good and maybe much more relevant, even to those of us with dissociative disorders and trauma histories, take a look at HBO's "In Treatment". The characters are much more real and the acting is better. If you are interested in how people think and how people interact in the context of therapy, then this is a great show. How can this help you heal? Maybe this is a leap, but I think it's helpful for those of us who deal with dissociation and DID to realize that there are many problems we deal with that many others deal with also.
In an April 30th interview with Terry Gross on NPR's Fresh Air, Gabriel Byrne who plays Dr. Paul Weston on the show, gave his take on what he thinks about therapy: "I think what a good psychotherapist does, I imagine, is that they help you to write the real narrative of your life and come to terms with it, because I think we have a tendency when we talk about our lives to kind of magnify certain things and give them an importance, idealize certain things and be in denial about other things. And looking at the narrative of your life and how that influences who you are as an adult cannot be but I think a good process." Basically, he's saying that therapy helps you put your life into context. For me, this is what I see as my main task.
Or if you prefer a quote from someone more legitimate, Sigmund Freud (whose birthday was yesterday) said: "The aim of psychoanalysis is to relieve people of their neurotic unhappiness so that they can be normally unhappy."
I kind of like Byrne's quote better. More optimistic. But, who knows, maybe Freud's is more realistic.
In addition to television, I've seen one short film and one song that spoke to me recently, both I've found posted on the blogs I follow.
The first is the short film INSiDE, directed by Trevor Sands. Powerful! This is very real and accurate, at least to me. I talked to my psychiatrist about it who also watched it. He wondered how much it mirrors the experience of people who deal with DID. I can understand that point of view, and said that of course it is not accurate for most of my life. But there are times when I slide up the dissociative ladder and life is almost exactly like how it was portrayed in this short film. These extreme experiences don't get reported because how do you report them? Usually they are forgotten or misremembered. This is where the real work is for us, though. Despite these extremes, we can learn to stay present and even document these experiences.
The second is the song "100 Years" by Five for Fighting. This song is about a man about to turn 100, reflecting on his life. I couldn't help but see the parallel with my own life. This is all about what being multiple is about. While we all have the ability to look back on our lives and reflect, for a multiple we are constantly looking at life through different lenses. I've rather taken to playing this song on piano and it's been a bit healing for me. Another song I've been playing lately on the piano is "Hallelulah" written by Leonard Cohen. The best recording I've found is a live version by K.D. Lang performed at the 2005 Juno Awards. This piece was played on the closing credits for the 2006 documentary "Deliver us From Evil" about the Catholic clergy abuse crisis. I'll write more about that at some other time.
I'd love to hear what your take is on what I've written about, and feel free to post here media which you find helpful.
External Links:
- Showtime's United States of Tara
- ISST&D Commentaries on United States of Tara
- HBO's In Treatment
- INSiDE, a short film about DID.
- Five for Fighting, band who wrote "100 Years" (where you can find lyrics).
- Hallelujah lyrics.
Hi Paul,
I agree with you on Tara. I find it offensive in the extreme. That it was going to be a comedy, that stopped me right away. The life of a multiple is nothing like a comedy and so if you have to stretch reality to the point of a main character of a comedy show being multiple, I think, how can it be accurate.
I don't watch it. I know some multiples who do. They still discuss its merits. To me it has none.
I felt particularly betrayed by the ISST&D. However I have been thinking that over and I do think that coming from a research focused entity, this might seem like what DID is all about to them. And that is why they were involved and that is why they endorse it. To me it says they have no idea what multiplicity outside of a research lab is really like. And to tell you the truth that has always been my opinion of them. They have their purpose, but their efforts in this arena shows their agenda and not those of multiples.
I have watched In Treatment and I do find it interesting. I particularly like the teenage girl as she goes through the process of healing from how she has been used and betrayed. I do think that her story in particular is very relevant to abuse survivors.
I agree with you on the film INSiDE. To me this depicts a rare occasion in my life now. But in the past it described my life at times with accuracy. I thought a tremendous relief thinking that someone knows and can put this on film. How alleviating. How healing.
I haven't heard these songs, but will check them out. There are some songs that mean a lot to me too. Nothing that seemed to touch me about DID. However I do find some songs very helpful in my healing process.
If a song really strikes me as being how I feel about myself, my system, my life, I will usually listen to it a lot and dedicate the song to my system. I often sing along with them and think of my system while I am doing that.
Some of them are love songs and they describe how much I love them, so they fit. Others are kind of loving life kind of songs, which makes them, for me, a work in progress kind of song. One that comes to mind is "I Feel Good" sung by Michael Buble.
Thanks for sharing this.
Kate
US of Tara got worse Paul... much worse! About the only part of the series that I identified with was the very last scene of the series where the alters were gathered around Tara and the family in the bowling alley. It felt right in that it had a sense of the alters being there ready to step in should there be a need to protect. It also felt more like it would be a situation closer to what we experience where there is a fairly constant level of background noise.
The ISST-D did correct some of the shows exaggerations and misleading depictions, which is possibly all that they could do to make the best of a bad situation... I personally would have preferred them to be more proactive in working with the show in portraying Tara as a more believable and accurate depiction of what living with DID can be like. Hopefully they will do this with the next season. I'm lucky in that the show isn't available where I live - I wouldn't have wanted any of my family or friends to see it.
INSiDE is stunning isn't it. I like the way in which the noise is portrayed... Loosing yourself in all the chaos... It does show an extreme, but one that I can identify with as feeling more accurate than US of Tara.
I hadn't heard that version of Hallelujah, but it is excellent. KD Lang's voice is incredible.
Take care
B
As I watch more episodes, including from season one, I realize that there are a number of things that don't come up that often. I can see the whole patient-doctor sexual instances happening, but the patient-patient interplay is a bit out of the ordinary, to say the least. Haven't got yet to the gymnast girl, who I think you were referring to.
Hi Paul,
Yeah I think that the two patients' interactions is abnormal or out of the ordinay. But they did that as well in The Sopranos with a woman who was self-destructive. I thought at the time I saw that that it was what a woman like that would do. Don't know why exactly I think it is less believeable in this series, but I do. I think that part where the doc explains to Tony about the patient, that made it seem very real to me.
Have you ever seen The Sopranos and the therapy he does during the series? His mother, with borderline personality disorder, like my mother, reminded me a lot of my mom and things she would say and do. For that reason I found myself quite attached to Tony even though he is a thug, a mobster, and a murderer. I could understand his life because I could understand and relate so well to his beginnings.
Yes I meant the gymnast. Let me know what you think of her process as she goes through it. I found it very survivor similar. Especially since she was a teen and still very vulnerable to abuse and betrayal.
Kate
I am sure, though, that while this is unlikely (the patient-patient interaction as a message to the psychologist), it's not unheard of. I am sure there are therapists who have seen things we can only imagine in their practices. I do know there are very manipulative people in this world. I don't happen to associate myself with them. But I did have a manipulative streak in me when I was at the beginning of my healing, that I am not, to this day, proud of. I have only seen a few episodes of The Sopranos. It is nice to have wonderfully done television. I understand what you say about relating to Tony Soprano, even though he's a murderer. I think that's what makes great television (and movies for that matter): that you can still relate to the characters even though they are nothing like you (or even do horrible things). As far as the gymnast from Season 1 of In Treatment, I did watch all those episodes. I found it difficult for me to watch. I don't know why. I think as I was watching it, I wondered what things would have been like had I been fortunate enough to have seen someone like that when I was a teenager.
Hey Paul, I watched that film about Inside. It was good. That guy, I think, is everything we all fear becoming. While the film is good, keep in mind that it is exaggerated so that it can really drive a point home for people that don't understand what this is like. For us, at this stage of the game, and our age, we are higher functioning and more seamless. At least that's my perspective on it. Can you tell me more about when HBO's In Treatment is on and what it's about?
Hi Nansie, I think for me, this film is quite a chillingly accurate representation of what the experience is like. I am not in that place that often. But there are times when that's not at all an exaggeration, and in fact I can say it's much worse. HBO's In Treatment is about the therapy relationship with 5 clients, with new ones each season. It can be a bit boring. But if you are interested in complicated interactions, then it can be quite good.