Stuffed Animal Blues

Seems like this time of year brings the childhood memories - both our own and the memories of our kids when they were little. This morning, I was listening to a song on the radio and was flooded with the vision of my children running down the stairs on Christmas morning; eight bare feet, nightgowns and mis-matched pajamas, bed-heads and wide eyes full of anticipation. It made my heart ache.

Sometimes that is more than I can bear. They are all growing up and the goodbyes are not getting any easier.

My baby is in eighth grade this year. My third will be heading to college next fall - we are playing the waiting game now, all the applications are in and we now wait to see where he will be accepted. When he goes, I will have only one at home.

I'm very lucky. They will all be here for Thanksgiving. They are all healthy, smart and motivated. My oldest is in graduate school, and the others all seem to have a pretty good idea what they want out of life. They are loving and very loved, and I couldn't ask for more - except that time would roll back for a few moments from time to time so I could hold a little one on my lap, sing a bedtime song, hear a childish giggle, or watch the rosy, peaceful, sleeping face of a baby.

Enjoy it all!

Thanks, Shen. I'm trying to get back into the whole blogging and community support thing again. This is a start, and easy since I just cut and pasted something I found! I am not at the place where you are with the kids yet, as you know. But I do notice the changes. I generally can balance the changes (which are my own issues) with the joy from knowing that my kids are developing independence and are happy about life. It's great you will be with them all for Thanksgiving! As far as rolling back the clock, I do keep a ton of pictures of my kids from the very beginning on the iPhone. And I check it when I need that. I feel comforted by the fact that all those images are so accessible to me. And I am also lucky that my youngest still loves those bedtime stories. I'm quite good at telling them. So, I think I may record some and then transcribe them. And then in several years I can also look back on them and cherish them.

Hey Paul!

This is adorable!! I loved it. I hope you have a happy Thanksgiving... relax and enjoy. I also wonder how your progressing these days? I haven't talked to many of my friends lately... too much family stuff going on and it has taken me away from my work. It's weird when this happens because I feel like I am far away from myself.

I have made a breakthrough though that I'd like to share. Recently I discovered that I do love God and need him. I had drifted away from him for over a decade now. I was angry at him and could not understand how a good God could let things happen to innocent children the way they do. Then it hit me. In order to be angry at God I must be hurt by him, in order to be hurt by him I must love him and need him. I know now that I loved him all along and that was the reason why I hurt so much and was so angry at him. Something clicked for me here and it feels so good. I know that he did not abandon me in my years of need. He gave me something to fight back with so that I would not die and that was my "gift" to dissociate it now and survive and then go back later and fix it when I am stronger. I don't like the work I have to do now but it is better than death would have been. I have had some wonderful things in my life that I would not trade for anything. In order to have that I must have this.

I am not a fanatic by any means. But I do need God.

Happy Thanksgiving to you all and I will say a prayer for us all toward our safe and speedy passage to healing!

Nansie, I'm happy for your breakthrough. I know many people find comfort in God and it helps in the healing. That's an area I have not had much luck with. Happy Thanksgiving to you also!

This is just about the cutest dang thing ever! Thanks for sharing it. It sure gave me a smile! I used to make up silly songs with my son when he was younger. LOVED that! :)

We love this... The young ones love all their favourite toys being mentioned and also that a father would make such a song for their daughter. It's not in their realm of possibilities as to the typical actions of a father. Thank you...

I'm so glad you have all of these ways to cherish those good times and memories with your family...

Take care,
CG

Paul,

This is so cute. Have you recorded it for your daughter? I bet your cousin would appreciate it, too. When my daughter was a year old, we discovered she liked to be read to, so I began buying Dr. Suess books. Soon we were buying any and every book, as well as checking them out from the library. I couldn't keep up with her and when she was 18 months old, I recorded ALL of them (about 220) along with many sound effects and a special tone to let her know when to turn the page. She still has most of them and to my delight, she has begun recording books for her friend's 3 little boys. They love them and she has found a way to stay special in their lives.

Writing that for your daughter is a beautiful gesture, help her keep a part of you by recording it for her. You are a great daddy.

Dear Marj, Castorgirl, and Ivory, Thank you for your nice comments. No, I never was able to record back then. But probably should do it now. I know it was what the younger parts of me needed to find yesterday. I'm glad it made others happy.