My Symbol

I hope to see more of it myself.
Are the colors significant for anything?

Yes, the colors are significant. With red (anger) and black (dark parts) being the most difficult for me. I'll try to get up a better scan. I realize this one kind of stinks.

Wow, this ties right in with what I've just started researching and doing: mandalas! Your picture reminds me of a mandala, did you plan to do that?

I've never been in art therapy so am kind of just learning as I go along with this, but its so fascinating:

"The psychoanalyst Carl Jung saw the mandala as 'a representation of the unconscious self,'and believed his paintings of mandalas enabled him to identify emotional disorders and work towards wholeness in personality."

Wholeness of personality! :-)

I'd love to see more of your art and hear more about what happens in art therapy for DID too! I can't seem to find too much on mandala healing for DID though it seems so obvious.

That's a great find from Jung! I'm not a huge fan of mandalas because they feel too religious for me. But I do tend to draw a circle with various parts inside and the connections between them; and I can see how someone would say that it looks like a mandala. If you click on the "Art Therapy" category, you will see some others. I have a lot, but most I don't scan in because my scanner is not large enough. As my therapist says (and I believe her), it's not about the art, but about the process; and of course we are always to leave our art critic at the door. Sometimes I find that spending time with colored pencils coloring in carefully is soothing. I'll write specifically about art therapy and DID soon, though I've touched on it before in this post from October 2008.

Some of us love art and to be creative. It's an ability, which could be very useful. For example, For some parts of us, it's still forbidden to speak, but they have found someone in the system, which transmits the information using pictures. This helps a lot. BTW: We are also unable to draw mandalas. We always made pictures.

Hi LostShadowChild. I haven't really thought about whether some parts of me are not allowed to speak. But I do know that being able to draw or photograph has meaning to more parts who speak. And in that sense I find creative endeavors enormously helpful.

What immediately jumped out at me regarding this drawing, was that the colours on the symbol to the right are so much more intense than the smooth symbol of where you wanted to be. Also, the black symbol is larger than the others on the right hand side symbols, but is absent from the symbol to the left - or is it just less intense?

Thank you for sharing this with us Paul, I do hope you share more of them in the future. I think we gain so much from looking at our art in any form.

Take care,
CG

Hi Castorgirl. Yes, you are right! I deliberately try not to explain too much about what the process is or what many of the meanings are behind the various elements when I post an art piece. I like others to discover that for themselves (if they care to). But I am happy to talk about them when others bring them up!! Yes, left is the more "whole" state (obviously) but life is less vibrant. One way to look at it is that the whole state is kind of boring with all those muted colors. Another way to look at it is that all the muted colors and the way they fit together is harmonious and happy. On the right was where I was at that day. I felt such a presence of some dangerous parts, that's why the black is the largest piece. The pencils are the same in the left and right, except that I bore down on the right side. And on the left I deliberately "colored lightly" as I sometimes did as a kid. Yes, more in the future. I already photographed several and they are waiting to be posted... sometime in the next decade! Hope you are well.

I've heard a lot about art therapy recently from blogs. I wish I had that option here - small town disadvantage. Still, it interests me. I've wondered for years what anyone can "see" from art therapy.

I am about color and that little white piece in the middle is very interesting to me. Have you any thoughts as to why so small and why white?

Hi Ivory. The nice thing about this kind of art is that you can do it on your own. You just need some paper and crayons, colored pencils, and oil pastels and some "directives". I'll try to find online if there are a list of directives for trauma; if not, I'll ask my therapist for a list from her and post it here. The little white piece was the core of me (at the time). White did not mean pure, just meant the absence of any color.

Paul,

I can't help but admire the courage it has taken you to make so much progress in spite of so many set-backs and disadvantages. You've plugged along most valiantly, though I know there were times you wanted to give up, or took a step forward only to find that you'd fallen back ten steps.

Your story is most encouraging. I am especially interested in art therapy. I'd love to do something like that.

Here's wishing you a new year filled with new discoveries and progresses, and much healing!

Thanks Beauty! We must plod ahead... and my hope for everyone who is on a healing journey is that they continue it. As you are doing.

Paul, I have read a little about Art Therapy and decided a few years ago to give it a try myself. Instead of crayons, I decided to learn how to use oil paints which I knew nothing about at the time. I did a series of oil paintings on feelings. The first ones have lots of red and black for the intensity of what I felt inside. I hoped at the time that painting the feelings would help me to actually feel them. I was still several years away from that happening. Sharing those paintings was a very important part of my healing journey.

Oil is not the medium that I would chose today but it suited my purpose back then. Thanks for sharing this and reminding me of my own art work.

Thanks Patricia! I see you haven't posted art on your blog. Would you want to someday? I've not done oils because it's so hard to clean up. I have a lot of acrylics and also oil pastels. Mostly I just like pencils (colored and black). I am glad doing art helps others too.

I am sadly lacking in technical skills for adding extras like pictures to my blog site. My little digital camera isn't the best for trying to take pictures of the oil paintings either. Maybe one of these days I will have the extra money to get someone to teach me how to do it.

I would not do oils again. The drying time between putting on colors is too long. My first painting took me a month to complete but part of that was waiting for the words to come to describe what was behind the meaning of the painting for me. I think that I picked one of the most difficult mediums to learn how to do on my own. It taught me patience which I was really short on at that time in my life. Each of my journeys into the world of art has taught me about letting go of wanting to control everything. That is a very big lesson for someone who used to be a control freak.