Blog Carnival Against Child Abuse (January 2010)
Welcome to the January 29, 2010 edition of Carnival Against Child Abuse. The purpose of the Carnival is to be a place where important posts are shared with others who may not be frequent readers of an author's blog. I, myself, have realized that I cannot follow all the blogs I want to follow, so the monthly Carnival gives me a chance to see what else is out there. There are so many wonderful bloggers and you are all doing a wonderful service not only to yourselves, but to the cause of ending child abuse and recovering from child abuse. My sincere thanks to all of you.
If you, as a reader or author, know of other blogs that you find helpful, please encourage them to submit to an upcoming issue of the Carnival Against Child Abuse; and please bookmark that page so we can continue to receive high quality submissions from a wide swath of bloggers.
Healing Submissions
Kerro from "Kerro's Korner" presents 10 good things about falling apart. In keeping with the David Letterman "Top 10" theme, Kerro shares with us one of my all time favorite posts and she leads off the Carnival this month. Her post is helpful, encouraging, and validating.
Kate from "Kate1975's Blog" presents A Bliss List. Kate creates wonderful lists that I come back to time and time again. Her "bliss" lists are so encouraging. To see all 12 of them, click on her Bliss List Category.
Dr. Kathleen Young from "Treating Trauma in Chicago" presents Shame and Self-Blame After Trauma. Dr. Young addresses head on one of the most difficult topics for survivors. This is a post you may want to bookmark and come back to when you are brought down by shame and self-blame. She concludes her post with: "No child (yes, that includes you reading this!) is ever to blame for the abuse inflicted upon them by others."
Hope from "Hope for Trauma" presents One Year Strong, saying "It's about my Journey throught my first year without being inpatient. The search for trust, support and acceptance." It's a peek into what hospitals are like, and a commentary on how a therapist who specializes in trauma work can lead survivors in a new and different healing direction.
Ivory from "Shades of Ivory" presents All in the Telling, saying "Telling is the most difficult 'start' to healing." In my comment to her post I wrote "I am so sorry that you have lost so much in your journey, for your 'telling'. But I am sure you realize that if you didn't 'tell' there would be other consequences, and perhaps you would not have survived those." Thanks for telling Ivory!
Sarah from "A bit of this, a bit of that" presents If I'd Known Then, saying "Although this isn't really a survivor blog in the way that many of the blogs that submit to the Carnival are, I am a survivor, and that does affect my writings. This post has received such a powerful response from my friends that I wanted to share it with a larger audience." Her post speaks of a wonderful book where authors write letters to their younger selves. Sarah herself wrote one in her blog post. It's a wonderful technique, and personally I'd love to do that someday.
Shhh from "My Shush Blog" presents elephant in the room. Shhh writes about her experience with a "transitional object". If you don't yet have one, you would do well to consider one. I have several.
Innocencestolen from her self-titled blog presents Bikini Season, saying "I wrote this post based on my own frustrations with my body and realizing how alot of my problems with myself have all stemmed from my mother." She touches on the trouble many of us have with body image and how lessons from long ago still stay with us today.
Cornnut32 from "Picture of Experience" presents Pooh's grand adventure. This post speaks to the power of interacting with children in a healthy way.
Marj aka Thriver from "Survivors Can Thrive!" presents Trauma Processing, Therapy & Counseling, saying "In this post, I talk about my experience with therapy for my dissociative disorder, trauma processing and counseling. I also lament a bit on the fact that I have never been able to find a therapist who could provide all three of these things for me as I navigate the healing-from-abuse journey." It's a personal account of some of her healing journey. Thank you, Marj, for sharing what is obviously so personal to you.
Mike from "Child Abuse Survivor" presents Healing Isn't a Smooth Timeline. Mike reminds us that there are ups and downs in the healing journey, that we can make huge progress in a short time, and make little progress over a long time, and everything in between. This is good to be reminded of, because many of us have high expectations of ourselves (added also to outside expectations).
Temperance from "Crackers & Juiceboxes" presents Dear Trauma Therapist.... Tempy has done something here that few of us think to do or are able to do. She made a clear statement to her therapist about who she is, what her limitations are, and a commitment to healing. This reminds me of Elia Wise's poem "For Children Who Were Broken"; if you have not read this poem, I suggest you look it up.
Art Submissions
Shen from "Reunited Selves" presents Anger Work. Her work goes through a whole process of inner communication. She uses a left- versus right-hand technique to help her communicate inside, and it's something worth trying for those of us who have trouble with that issue.
Paul from "Mind Parts" (me) presents My Symbol, my most recent art therapy post.
Advocacy & Awareness
Katie at "Sharing our Spaces" presents False Memory Syndrome, saying "I wrote this about my recent research into whether or not FMS is valid." It's a very good look at some of the current debate on a hot topic.
Paul from "Mind Parts" (again, me) presents Is Dissociative Identity Disorder Real?. I've been meaning to address this for a while, and so here goes... I take on the ongoing debate on the existence of DID because there has been much discussion on blogs about this topic recently.
Paul from "Mind Parts" presents The Burden, a wonderfully done campaign video to end child abuse.
Patricia from "Spiritual Journey of a Lightworker" presents Ask About Incest If You Suspect It Is Happening, saying "I wanted someone to ask. I needed someone to ask. If you know a child that you suspect is being abused ask them. It may be what they are waiting for." As survivors, especially, we cannot turn a blind eye. Thanks for reminding us Patricia!
BloggerT7165 from "What about when MOM is the abuser?" presents Female sex offenders and their victims: Reference materials and scholarly papers. This post presents a comprehensive bibliography on the topic of female sex offenders.
Poetry
I deliberately don't provide commentary on poems. I feel as though they should stand on their own
Mary from "Nippercat's Home" presents The Boogieman.
Little Sheep from "My (getting better) story" presents scrubbing it off, saying "It's so worth it in the end!"
Little Sheep from "My (getting better) story" presents poem.
Jumping in puddles from "Sharing private moments through poetry" presents Don't find me.
Aftermath
Patricia Singleton from "Spiritual Journey of a Lightworker" presents Inspiration, Denial and Incest, saying "This post was written in response to a previous comment on my blog that told my readers who were survivors to just get over it and get on with their lives. Abuse doesn't stay in our past. It very much affects our today." I think it's important for readers to realize that survivor blog posts aren't all about inspiration. Blogs are heartfelt attempts to find ourselves, and many posts will be dark or about losing hope; they should be looked at from a global perspective. Thank you Patricia for pointing this out.
Colleen from "Surviving by Grace" presents Taking Care of Myself. Colleen has struggled like so many of us have about learning to take care of our bodies despite years of being neglected from abuse. Thank you Colleen!
Colleen from "Surviving by Grace" presents Sisters. Colleen takes on survivor guilt and comes to the healthy conclusion that "It was not my fault".
Kate from "Kate1975's Blog" presents Survivor’s Aftereffects List #1. Kate has posted a wonderful list of aftereffects from the book "Secret Survivors". The full list can be found in the Aftereffects Lists Category.
That's all folks! Thank you all for the honor of hosting this month's Carnival and for your wonderful submissions. You are all truly inspirational.
The Carnival homepage can be found at Carnival Against Child Abuse. There you can find current as well as all past editions.
20 Comments
Welcome
"Healing from Trauma and Dissociation"
I'm Paul, a father, husband, scientist, educator, photographer and musician. I'm also a survivor of childhood sexual abuse.
Mind Parts consists of my own insights on the aftermath of childhood sexual abuse, namely trauma stress and the full spectrum of dissociative coping mechanisms, including dissociative identities. Through a blog, I explore the healing process in a variety of ways—using creative contributions of original art, photography, poetry, and music as well as, hopefully, though-provoking essays. Mind Parts is also home to two support services. The quarterly Ezine Trauma Recovery Highlights is a look at some of the best online resources. Also, the monthly Expressive Arts Carnival makes available activities which are published as a group "Carnival."
Comments are welcomed, but if you prefer, you may contact me offline. My belief is that sites like this one can contribute by offering unique perspectives and knowledge, thereby enhancing opportunities not only for survivors but for readers and society as a whole. Namaste!
Wow, Paul! You've been busy. This is a huge carnival. Look at all these fine posts! I really like your explanation at the start. And I'm always so thrilled to see lots of articles in the healing category.
I'll get this listed right away over at BC dot com and I'll put up a post on my blog...then I gotta get readin'!
Thank you, all, for your submissions!
Thanks Marj! Always happy to host... It's not so hard for me now that I've got the hang of it.
Very nice job Paul!! I am reading tons of great stuff from this and once again you are above and beyond expectations! I am hoping that at some point I will have something to contribute to this. I am still very mixed up and have trouble sorting as opposed to being overwhelmed when I try to find a place to begin writing about all of this. All of these blogs inspire me so much and I hope that one day soon I can begin this huge task. Thank you again and you are awesome!
Great job Paul! I will link to this from my blog. Thank you so much.
Paul, what a varied group of posts that were submitted this month. Thanks for being the host for January. I look forward to reading all of the posts.
Thank you for hosting the carnival and for sharing all of these wonderful posts!
Thanks so much, Paul. I'm flattered that I'd be included in the Carnival, let alone featured. Thank you.
You've done a great job with the Carnival - well done! :)
Hey Paul,
Awesome job with the Carnival. Thanks for letting me be a part of this. As you said, it also helps me catch up on my reading and find new blogs to read :)
Great Carnival, Paul!! I read so much heartfelt pain, recovery, and healing that my head is spinning. So much great information shared.
Hi Paul, I came over form Survivors Can Thrive and very much enjoyed this months reading and found some very helpful articles. Thanks for doing it.I just have completed 3 months intense trauma therapy, 7h per day, 5 days a week for 3 months and I learned so much. Here I particularly enjoyed your art therapy as I had a hard time in mine! Would you like to share with me what kind of therapy you are having? Thanks, Paula.
Wow, Paula. 3 months of trauma therapy at 35 hours a week!? I don't know what I think about that. If you're interested in how I do therapy, then this post may give you a good idea. Basically, it's 2 sessions a week at 1.5 hours and a mix of talk and art/creative type things. Plus I see a really good psychiatrist once a week because I believe in having different inputs from therapists who come from different places. Paul.
Wow Paula! Where did you find this program and what was it like? Were you scared and how did you get through it?
Nansie, If you click over to Paula's blog, you will see that she posted about it.
Hi Paul, I found your "proper" therapy post quite enlightening. And so very useful for many. I had 1 year cognitive behavioral therapy about 15 years ago concerning my abuse and it worked well. However I always that the feeling there was still something wrong and I couldn't point the finger to it. I needed to reenact the situation which I experienced with my mother so many years back to finally be able to point it out. The intense trauma therapy is very exhausting however very much rewarding too. We were a group of 10 people from all walks of life and had an entourage of 35 people caring for us. Each client had 5 different therapists, from main therapist to integrative body psychotherapy to art therapists and physiotherapist introducing QiGung, progressive muscle relaxation, Yoga etc. We had skill and resource group sessions and I am so very grateful that the German Federal Health System paid for it. The cost are tremendous. However we diagnosed exactly the wound, the deep hurt and now I am working on it - currently alone however late Spring I will return to the day center for another 4 weeks. After that aftercare for year with 1h a month. However I already started to introduce paintings, QiGung and coordination exercises (left/right brain) to my daily routine and changed some habits. I cannot say how glad I am for this program. It is hard, it is intense and it shakes one to the bone. However there is always someone carry you through. Always someone to speak too. However you are always hold responsible for your actions and your recovery.
Wow Paula! So much work and so much courage. Congrads to you for seeing it thru and working so hard on this stuff. I can really appreciate what you must have gone through!
The Carnival idea seems great. I am not sure how it works, though. Would love for you to email me or something and fill me in on it, Paul. I followed the carnival link in your blog, but I guess my brain is just not working OK because I don't get it. (like...what else is new?)
For a long time therapy has involved talking about what happened. This basically often means reliving what happened, which can serve to reinforce the trauma. And you know what? The actual event - the trauma itself - is usually not the real problem.
The real problem is how you reacted to the abuse. To be clear: I am differentiating between the abuse, and the immediate, in the moment reaction - the limbic system and R-complex response.
The reason why some people have PTSD is because they reacted more strongly than others and so the trauma was greater.
There is a new way of healing trauma - it is called Reference Point Therapy. It is an emotionally based alternative healing method, incredibly simple, gentle, and fast.
I have written an article it, and how it is particularly useful in healing the trauma of abuse. Please have a look.
Wishing you peace and love,
Ben
I hear what you say, Ben. In some ways this is a circular argument you make. Yes, the reaction is the problem. But one could also say that if the abuse were not there, you would not have the reaction, and then conclude the abuse is a real problem. But, that aside, I understand the point you are making. I think that focus has shifted away from actual events and more towards "reaction" (emotions and internal responses). At least I ally with those kinds of therapists and treatments. The problem with your kind of treatment, is that not everyone can do that off the bat. There needs to be some focus on the events. That's a person's natural response to revisit the events to "some extent", to validate what happened in order to do the work you are suggesting. In general, I think your approach might work with traumas that don't generate a huge internal response. Thanks for your comment.
Hi Paul, I guess I wasn't clear in what I wrote - it was late and I was tired!
I wasn't saying that the response is the cause of the situation - of course the abuse came first!
But the point is that the problem that survivors of abuse live with NOW, years after the event, is the reaction.
So that most therapies (focusing on the events) miss the point entirely.
"The problem with your kind of treatment, is that not everyone can do that off the bat. There needs to be some focus on the events. That's a person's natural response to revisit the events to 'some extent', to validate what happened in order to do the work you are suggesting."
I completely agree that there is often a need to first validate what happened, by focusing on the events - absolutely, there is a place and time for everything, including the more traditional "let's talk about it" approach. I am not saying that anything should be replaced. But it's important for people to know that when there is trauma, there is a deep emotional reaction which gets buried in the subconscious. That subconscious trauma causes a blockage. And I know from my experience that it can be VERY difficult to move past that blockage in life. Hence so many people suffering so much NOW with things that happened a long time ago. The events are secondary - the reaction is still present.
"In general, I think your approach might work with traumas that don't generate a huge internal response."
It really does work Paul. I've helped people completely release the trauma of sexual abuse with this therapy - myself included.
I really recommend that you check out the Reference Point Therapy blog page; you'll easily find it with a google search. I just read your page about your own blog, and how it started. I was particularly interested in your comments about Enlightenment. New research (from the Institute of Peak States especially) suggests that enlightenment states are blocked by trauma. RPT is really a tool for much more than healing - it's about healing blockages that prevent us from reaching these Peak States, which can also be called Enlightenment states.
All the best,
Ben
Hi Ben, Since I'm not a therapist, I'm not super plugged in with all the current treatment approaches. I just know that the approach that I aligned myself with a couple years ago is way more in line with what you are saying. This is why for trauma therapy I advocate multiple modalities, including expressive arts and spiritual/whole health approaches, that are more holistic than a traditional once-a-week talking heads approach. I agree that can go nowhere. Since you read my pages on why the site began, with my writing on enlightenment, I will say that this is why I can agree with what you are saying. I am only saying what I always say, that a balanced approach (one that allows talking about memories, some buried, to understand them in context, but also all these other things) is the one that seems to work best for me. So, this is why in my private email to you, I think it's a hard sell to say that this is a novel technique. I think it's understood by many who look at trauma healing. At least in the circles I'm in. You've certainly got me interested in writing and thinking specifically about this. So, a huge thank you for that!