Guardian Angels
As I wrote last year, I know this holiday period is difficult for many. I have not thought much about it this year. Christmas is certainly not as charged for me as Easter or Halloween is, both of which I spend a good deal of time preparing for.
But with "My Healing Guide" today, we did talk about my plans for the upcoming Christmas weekend and what some of the issues are that may come up for me. During the course of our discussion, we talked about a certain memorable song. Recorded in 1951, "Guardian Angels" was on Mario Lanza's christmas album. For many years while I was growing up, I played this song on our vinyl record player, often on Christmas Eve.
When listening to the song today, I was immediately in touch with what it meant to me so long ago. It was the first time in a long time, aside from flashbacks, that I had such a direct connection to the past. It is fitting, perhaps, that a year that has seen so much progress and so many changes, would lead to this deep connection.
The song—with its lyrics, operatic solo, and full chorus—has a heavenly quality to it and direct spiritual or religious connections.
Guardian angels around my bed
Joining me in my prayers
They hush the shadows when they dance about
They shoo away the bears
Guardian angels to comfort me
If I wake in the night
They gather all my dreams
Their halos are my light
They dry my tears
If I should weep
They tuck me in
They rouse me from my sleep
Guardian angels around my bed
Standing by till I rise
There's one with shining wings that holds my hand
And shows me Paradise
For me, nights were filled with fear. "Shadows", "bears", "discomfort", and bad "dreams" were the norm. The image of guardian angels protecting me was one that I found extremely comforting. I believed, and still do, in God, Heaven, and angels.
While I did not consider it back then, listening to the song was not just comforting. It was much more than that. First and foremost, it was validating. I can never doubt my past because I clearly remember it in the context of this song. I knew what was going on. I knew I was being abused. But, more than that, the song provided an opportunity for me to grieve about the position I was in. I cried along with song.
They were good tears because the message was hopeful. I knew full well that "Paradise" meant Heaven. Looking back today and being connected to what I felt way back, I realized that I longed for the safety of Heaven. It was not clear to me how I would get there. I know part of me understood one way was by dying, and that did not feel too far off to parts of me.
But today I realized that while I may have had help from my guardian angels over the years, I have the power to create safety and healing in my life. I have the power to create my own "Paradise" here on Earth. I have the power to chase away the bears and shed light on the shadows. That is all possible because of the progress I have made.
"Guardian Angels" can be found on the album Christmas With Mario Lanza on iTunes.
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Wow this is a nice post Paul! I love the lyrics to the song... haven't had a chance to listen to it but I already feel so comforted when reading it. So glad that you had this song to bring you some kind of comfort in the midst of all you went thru. It's the perfect song for bedtime and during the night for sure. This post so hits right on for me... everything you said... and it is good! Thank you!
Thank you Nansie.
This is a beautiful post. I'm thinking about a collection of short stories by Kazuo Ishiguro called Nocturnes: Five Stories of Music and Nightfall. The way human beings connect with music... it's a relationship as complex, subtle, and powerful as any human relationship.
"But, more than that, the song provided an opportunity for me to grieve about the position I was in."
This is the magical thing about art, I think - this transcendence.
Ooooo... me likes the Mario Lanza. Always have.
When I was being abused, guardian angels were the only things I believed in. They made halos around the words in the missal (I was getting nearsighted. They hadn't realized it yet.) They were in the shafts of sunlight (dust). When bad things were happening to me I rested on their shoulders and could forget what was happening. I didn't believe in God, but I believed in them.
It's good you were able to find some validation and peace in that song and in your guardian angels. That sounds like it was very important for you to hold onto. Better yet, you are aware of your progress and you can manifest safety in your life.
Great song. Thanks, Paul!
Lisa
Another layer of grief and validation... I'm glad you had ways to comfort yourself in the past Paul, then to reconnect to those emotions in the present.
Thank you for sharing this beautiful song and post. I am glad you had something that gave you comfort back then and that it is validating for you - that is such an important thing.
Music has a beautiful way of touching the soul and moving anyone. There are so many songs that I relate to, that bring me comfort or joy or peace. I believe art (whether visual or through music) is such an important part of life and living it.
Have a wonderful safe Christmas, holidays can be hard but I hope this one is full of joy and peace.
Take care
Thank you Holly, Lisa, Castorgirl and Kylie! I am glad I was able to make it through Christmas very well intact.
The idea of angels is always comforting to me. When I was in a dangerous place once someone actually saw four huge angels there to protect me.
OneSurvivor. Very interesting that someone saw the angels around you. I would love to hear more about that. When I was a kid I had what I believed (and still do) to be a very real relationship with my guardian angels. Mostly this awareness would come in dreams and be part of my awareness while awake and struggling at nights.
I started to write it a long time ago. It is something that I would have to find and finish. It was amazing. If I ever get it done, I will probably put it on my blog, or someplace where I can let you see it.
I have also heard of small children seeing angels. I often wonder if we are born more spiritually aware and we start to become desensitized to it as we grow older and our awareness of the world around us starts to overshadow us.
If you find it, OneSurvivor, that would be great. I think people would like to read it, me included. I think it's very plausible kids are more spiritually aware, just as kids are generally more creative than adults.
hi paul~ thank you for sharing this. this is a really beautiful post. i'm so glad for you that you're finding increased connection and memories that bring positive significance for you. and that you have a spirituality that sounds like a source of strength and comfort for you too. wishing you and all of yours well this holiday~
Thanks Katie. I am actually surprised I wrote this post. It's truly personal. But I said it. Probably because I am feeling more and more like this is a safe place for me.
This song is lovely, I never heard it before. Your writing gave me a clear image of how comforting it would have been to you as a child. It's lovely. I felt a lot of emotion reading your post, but in a kind of good way. Touching.
Hi Candycan. Thank you for stopping by here and commenting! I'm glad you were touched by it and it made you feel something. Thanks!
Dear Paul and everyone on this blog,
I was searching for this song and by chance was lead to this blog.
I am moved by what you all were willing to share, especially you, Paul.You started it off.
I don't know if anyone will see my comment here. What I would like to say is that I have read many books about children and their relationship with God and the angels.
For me angels are very important in my life, and now I remember one book in which two men, one being a minister and the other one a biologist, in a dialogue discuss that angels had been banished from our world but that it was time for them to return. This book is not new, so we can hope and pray that the Guardian Angels draw close to us, as we all need them in this day and age.
Persephone, Thank you for stopping by. I don't think for a moment that angels have been banished. I think maybe in the eyes of some, but maybe they are just not connected to what some others are.
Rezension bezieht sich auf: "Engel: die kosmische Intelligenz." Ein faszinierender Dialog: Matthew Fox, weltbekannter Theologe, und Rupert Sheldrake, namhafter Naturwissenschaftler, stellen übereinstimmend fest, daß Engel Realität sind, die das Universum, den Kosmos, die gesamte Schöpfung, also auch eine uns Menschen durchwirkende Intelligenz verkörpern. Im Gespräch zwischen Naturwissenschaft und Religion stellt sich die verblüffende Modernität großer Engel-Lehren der Tradition heraus. Kosmologische Erkenntnisse verdeutlichen, daß Engel viel gewaltigere und mächtigere Wesen sind, als wir je vermutet haben."
Rupert Sheldrake "Der siebte Sinn der Tiere" and "Engel-die kosmische Intelligenz"; Matthew Fox "Engel-die kosmische Intelligenz".
The German above is translated to: Review refers to: "Angel: the cosmic intelligence." A fascinating dialogue: Matthew Fox, world-renowned theologian, and Rupert Sheldrake, renowned scientist, determine by common accord, that angels are a reality, the universe, the cosmos, all creation, so also embody our people by acting intelligence. In the conversation between science and religion, there is the astonishing modernity out great angel teachings of tradition. Cosmological Evidence indicates that angels are much more powerful and more powerful beings than we ever suspected. Rupert Sheldrake "The seventh sense of animals" and "Angel of the cosmic intelligence"; Matthew Fox "Angel of the cosmic intelligence".
Thank you for these reviews!